Self-Care is Not Selfish

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January 8, 2017

I knew yesterday or the day before that I needed a break from going to the Matriarch's. I didn't say anything, though. I just kind of decided I'd ask for a day off later in the week, and then when I woke up in the middle of the night to discover my husband was still up at 4:00 AM, I realized any hope I had of having someone else (aka, my husband) get up and do the morning visit was a pipe dream. He's always been a night owl and these past months have been really, incredibly late. 4:00 is normal.

So when I woke up and there was a fresh sheet of snow on the ground, I turned into passive-aggressive complainer. Snow. The kids aren't going to want to walk in the snow to church. I'm not going to make it back in time, so I'll try not to make them too late.

Apparently it worked, not that I was trying to get something out of it consciously, and my husband got up with me, dressed warmly, and we left together. He complained the whole way that there was not very much new snow. I suppose I deserved that; I could have done it myself, just like I had said. He's a significantly more confident snow-driver than I am with 17 years more experience (I didn't get my license until I was 26). When we returned home with only 12 minutes to get the kids to church, I knew his accompanying me was the right thing to do.

Even better, he didn't make me have to talk to the Matriarch because she would have asked me how the contra dancing went last night and I had decided not to go for no good reason (except that I really, really, really wasn't looking forward to it). I didn't want to talk about it.

Even best, when he got home, he didn't go back to bed! Instead, he made a pot of coffee and he's incredibly not cranky even a little bit.

Self-care rules:
1) SPEAK UP about the things you think, even if you think you might be being selfish
2) GO to the things that make you happy
3) TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE of the opportunities to share the load when they are presented.

Your own rules are the easiest to break.



Matriarch , self-care , support